Update #195


Posted by Laura Tubo August 23, 2005

       Many of you have commented lately on my infrequent BLOG entries. And, in response, I have told you that I am having trouble coming up with entries. I have been flattered to learn that so many find my entries inspiring. This has led to a certain amount of pressure to emote some literary greatness each time I sit down at the computer. Truth is, we have been living such a normal life, that I have lost a certain ability to write. But, today I have regained my sense that normalcy in itself is filled with greatness.
        Today, my strong faith in Joey's healing is once again being tested. I do not intend to alarm anyone, but I must tell you that I woke up this morning with such a sense of stability. I go to bed tonight feeling once again the realization that each moment of my life, of my son's life, is completely out of my control. His scans were not definitively negative. We learned today that his CT scan is completely normal. His MIBG scan MAY not be. There was some faint evidence of a small area of uptake. What does this mean? No one knows right now. The first radiologist read a small area of uptake in the right upper abdomen. This was to be correlated with the CT, which, again, was NORMAL. So, another radiologist read the MIBG and did not see what the first one did. This leaves our oncologist scratching her head---a finding that, quite frankly, leaves ME with a headache. So, the plan from here is to study his blood for any clues. And then, to rescan him in a month. Til then, Joey will continue to live his normal life. He starts preschool on Sept. 9th. And, tonight, I signed him up for YMCA gymnastics with his sister. Gina starts the second grade tomorrow. Jeff and I have scheduled a weekend getaway at the end of next month. Life will be normal. The hard part is how uncertain our normal remains. At the end of the day, the best medicine for Joey and all of us is prayer. At the end, the beginning, and each moment in between, I must remember this.  I thank all of you for remembering us at those times too.

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